I have now been married for two months. And I can honestly say that marriage changed me a lot. One of the things that I noticed was how I became even more organized in arranging my personal things. When I was still a single, I had so many stuff in my room that I cling to tenaciously - old clothes, anime-related memorabilia like posters, trading cards, stickers that I collected when I was in high school, old books, old comic books, VHS tapes and cassette recording of my favorite anime shows, high school notebooks, college test papers and reviewers, and even a bag full of plastics that I collected whenever I buy clothes or things from the department store and bookstore. Yup, I kept all of those too! I had this tenacious attachment to past things ever since I could remember and this continued until I got married last December. After I got married, I realized that I was entering a new chapter in my life. It's like a new beginning for me, a fresh start, and I learned that there were som...
I was standing there beside the casket, feeling helpless.. as I watch the person I love shed the most inconsolable tears. I wanted to stay by his side but I can’t. At that time I thought I ought to stay beside him and comfort him as much as I can. But I was hesistant. I didn’t dare to interrupt because those around him are his family. I’m not a part of the family so I know where I should stand..where I should place myself. Maybe some of them don’t want me near him. It’s more painful and hard for me because at that time I can’t do anything to ease his suffering…to comfort him and encourage him to be strong. I know how much he have wanted me to stayed by his side but then everytime I come near him, I was being pushed away by those people. I felt humiliated. And I have to endure that. People are all staring at us. But I didn’t feel ashamed anymore. Why should I? In that terrible moment, somehow, I gained the strength of will to bear all. I w...
It's been ages since I last updated this blog. So many things had happened and I know I'm quite a different person since the last time I updated. The reason for this update is to pour out all the heartaches, uncertainties, unhappiness, and even despair that I've been experiencing for the past couple of months. When I do not have anyone to say all the things that are bothering me, this is what I resort to do, write. This is because it was only through writing that I can somehow let go all of my feelings. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 7 years last June 2014 and we hope to get married on December 2015. Every time our friends and relatives asked us about the wedding date, they always say that it is was still too far. Yeah, we know, but we didn't have the money yet to afford even the simplest church wedding, but of course, we cannot say that directly to them. We only started saving up after the engagement and so far we have only saved a quarter of our wedding budget. We...
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