Living Inside My Head

I thought I'd always wanted to be a teacher. Well actually, there is no doubt in my mind that I always to be a teacher. Teaching has become a passion for me. From being a nurse to a teacher is a complete leap of career move. I realized that by 'accident'. When I finally reached by goal of being a teacher in a public school, I thought, "This is it. I've reach my goal." In my first year teaching in the public school, there were many adjustments. It was something totally understandable since I came from a private school. It was really different. But in my second year teaching, my world turned 360 degrees. Everything just changed. Even my perspective. It actually challenged my own personal beliefs and ideas that I will be a teacher until I reach old age. There were many circumstances that eventually led me in this and got me thing "Is this really the kind of life I wanted? Working 9 to 10 hours a day, being all stressed of so many workload, and the salary

Christmas is almost here! This time of the year is actually the most wonderful time of the year for me. It's not really the money, the presents, or the people that makes me happy. It's the cool weather, the colorful lights, Christmas songs, and the hassle and bustle that the holiday season brings that makes me so blissfully happy. My happiness really comes from within, and it's something that I have that no one can take away from me. This year has been really remarkable. I discovered and learned so many new things. We started our very first business venture, which is our perfumery brand, and of course, next year, we will be starting our tutorial center. Never did I dream or wish about venturing into business. It was something that I did not like before nor had any interest with. I thought I'll just be a teacher forever, and will be "institutionalized" just like the rest, and will live the rest of my life in the service of the 'institution'. At fi

I remember one time I asked my husband, "What is your ultimate dream?" And he answered without any hesitation, "That all of your dreams will come true." For a moment, I was speechless, obviously struck by his answer, because it came so unexpectedly. I was visibly moved, but I smiled nonetheless, and thus further strengthened my gratefulness for having him by my side. Thank you for your selflessness. You are not only a husband, but also a best friend and a mentor to me. Thank you for always kindling the fire of new ideas and possibilities... For your encouragement... For always believing in me... That it's okay to venture to a road less traveled. That dreams can become reality, as long as you put your heart in pursuing them... And that in pursuing them, it's much better to do it as a team. Really, we make a great team!

"No mud, no lotus." ~Thich Naht Hanh There are many things that may come easy and wonderful for us, but the vast majority of victories and achievements involves first sitting on a mud. The story of the lotus flower has been stuck on my mind lately. Its story closely mirrors our experiences in life. No matter how beautiful it looks, the beginning of its growth is not as beautiful as one can imagine. A lotus starts off as a seedling under water, surrounded by mud, muck and all other dirty conditions. As the lotus continues to grow, it finds its way up into the surface, pushing through its murky surroundings making way towards the clearer surface of the water. In time, the pod surfaces above the water, freeing itself from the filth and each petal slowly blooms to expose its beauty.  The story of the lotus is the perfect metaphor for life. What is the value we find in suffering? We can find happiness through suffering.  Suffering is to mud, as happiness is to bl

Last school year, 2017-2018, I was assigned in our school as a grade level coordinator. It was a difficult position, for me. The work and the responsibilities were immense and I felt overwhelmed. I was not used to "office work". I am a teacher and I enjoy teaching, but being a coordinator means like working as an administrative staff, registrar, accountant, treasurer, guidance counselor, all at the same time. I was close to a breakdown and I can't hardly contain the work. Many times I say to myself, "I cannot do this anymore. I have had enough." I cannot count the times I cried because of the pressure or the times that I go home feeling so down because I feel like I am not enjoying my work as a teacher anymore. I am close to having a mental breakdown. The words "I am so stressed" just spit out of my mouth unconsciously countless times a day, like they were already part of my system. What gave me the courage and hope to pull through was the reassur

More than ten years ago I received a few bulbs of lilies, my favorite flowers, from an acquaintance. I planted the bulbs in our front yard and it turns out that the bulbs that I thought all the same were actually two groups of different species of lilies. What species are they exactly I do not have the slightest idea. All I know is that the pink ones bloom continuously throughout the year. But the other one, the fiery red-orange variant, is elusive. It blooms at a certain time of the year only, during the hottest months, April to May. After May, the flowers start dying altogether, and stops blooming, until the next year again, in the same months. What makes these flowers so special and so engrossing to me, beside their beauty of course, is how seldom they bloom. They were there for only two months; two months to admire their beauty, and then they're gone. It's like a reminder how something beautiful can also be ephemeral. Perhaps it's the transitory nature of things

A year from now, I, my husband  and some of our dear friends are going to embark on a journey towards fulfilling one of our lifelong dreams. When I think about it, it's like looking up a mountain. Its beautiful and awe-inspiring, but its height is intimidating; for sure, the climb will not be easy. We have to be prepared in all aspects, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even financially. For the goal is reachable, but the path towards it will definitely be rocky. Somehow, I can now breathe a sigh of relief. Some burdens were now lifted up from my shoulder. I'm quite happy and thankful that I can now focus more on planning and starting our venture towards that mountain. In retrospect, my former self tend to view life as a series of failures and disappointments. I cannot say that I am now successful - I am still far from that, but when I look back and then reflect on my life now, I am filled with the realization how far I have come. Sure, the road still winds