Living Inside My Head

Few weeks ago, I was suffering from depression, exhaustion and a general feeling of weakness. Those were terrible times for me, and the most terrible I have ever experienced in my entire life. I felt I had no life at all. Everyday I felt hopelessness, fear and anxiety. I had no peace of mind, and my lack of sleep made my feeling even worse. I found myself crying almost everyday that I thought I'd suffer a breakdown. I felt so miserable. I was no longer enjoying myself, my life..Even simple things that most people overlook seemed so precious to me. That kind of life and that way of life was never for me. I knew it from the very beginning. But I thought I could give it a try, keeping in my mind that nothing in this world is simple. And yet in the end, I still prove to be right. Now I'm happy that I was able to do away with that kind of life. It was a great relief for me: sleeping in the night, being with my loved ones during the weekends and the holidays, spending time with my f...

It was supposed to be in the summer of ‘09 - our trip. But then, we had to cancel it because of the conflict in our schedule. We were both busy - each of us had a rather demanding and quite stressful job. It’s as if I’m a bird clutched by my master and struggling very hard for air to breathe. I felt suffocated. It was stuffy and the pressure was too much to bear. And I wanted freedom. Freedom from a thankless job.. Freedom from the pressures of what I must do.. It was rather taxing..especially when the eleventh month started. We just had celebrated our two years together that previous month, and now our relationship was hanging in a fine thread. At that period, I was doing everything at the same time. I was studying, working, maintaining a relationship, and at the same time, dealing with everyday household problems. It was too much, I thought, but I know I can manage. Then suddenly, I can’t go on anymore. At that time, there was no one I can count on. There was ...

Time is passing so fast. It is not something that can be stopped. It seems to me that it is all that moves, leaving me behind, racing past me. But nothing seems to change… I wake up in the morning, go to school, come home, eat dinner, go to sleep, and the same again the next day. Then I think about the fact that there are numbers of people who do the same thing. That’s right. I’m not the only one who goes through this. But isn’t it tiresome to do things over and over again? I feel like I’m missing something every time. I’m not sure what to do, but I still wonder if this is alright as it is. But when something is ruined or lost, I feel like I would notice how happy daily life could be. Yet the future exists… and people’s worries continue to grow… so do mine. One shouldn’t expect it to be just me who succumbs to these kinds of thoughts. Everyone has them. But most people live their lives without being mindful of these things. ...