Update

It's been ages since I last updated this blog. So many things had happened and I know I'm quite a different person since the last time I updated. The reason for this update is to pour out all the heartaches, uncertainties, unhappiness, and even despair that I've been experiencing for the past couple of months. When I do not have anyone to say all the things that are bothering me, this is what I resort to do, write. This is because it was only through writing that I can somehow let go all of my feelings.

I got engaged to my boyfriend of 7 years last June 2014 and we hope to get married on December 2015. Every time our friends and relatives asked us about the wedding date, they always say that it is was still too far. Yeah, we know, but we didn't have the money yet to afford even the simplest church wedding, but of course, we cannot say that directly to them. We only started saving up after the engagement and so far we have only saved a quarter of our wedding budget. We actually had no problem getting married on December 2015, everything is working well on our saving up plan until last week...

My fiance and I had a heart-to-heart talk last week. He talked about how much he is having a hard time at home with his relatives and that he wishes to leave home already. After talking for hours, we've decided to settle on a civil wedding before 2014 ends.

We started arranging some documents and planed to go to the Municipal Hall and get a schedule for our wedding date before November ends. But while we were waiting the release of some documents, I told my family about our plans of having a civil wedding this year.

To my surprise, they didn't seem to be happy with our decision. They wanted us to 'wait' and have a church wedding instead. This is just one of the many things that gives me and my fiance heartaches.

It's just so sad that every time we wanted to do something for our plans, for our future, it seems that certain forces conspire against us. We've been through a lot of hardship in the past few years and I know that getting married and being together finally would make us stronger. Because we would be a team. I feel so hopeless, unhappy, and uninspired.

I hope things would get better soon. :-(


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