Even in the Darkest Nights

It's almost bedtime but I can't sleep. I don't feel like going to sleep. When I don't have peace of mind, it's difficult to sleep. So painful. I'm thinking about him. I'm thinking about his current situation, his seemingly hopeless situation. The difficulties he had and he have to go through. That's right. I I almost forgot that it has been two years since those dreadful times, but until now it isn't over yet. And things can still get worse over time. Everytime I think about him, and what he's been going through, I can't help myself but break down and cry. The thought that he's been suffering pains my heart so much that sometimes I can't bear to listen to him anymore. The distance that is separating us prevents me from being by his side every time he needs support. I wish there is something I can do to help him other than supporting him emotionally. Unfortunately, even emotional support is sometimes very difficult to give. I always have unstable emotions and I'm easily affected by things. When we are both feeling so down, who do we rely on? In the end, it is still ourselves. And sometimes, I wonder where do we get all the strength that we need in order for us to pull through. When we are both so weak to stand, when it so painful to go on.. Love? Yes it is. It is what drives us to continue with our life, no matter how challenging and difficult things can get. And hope... The hope and the belief that everything is going to be okay eventually. Oh how I long for that day to come! When we can be happy together. When we can only think of each other and our future together. Lord, I know this is not easy, but in times like these, when I feel like giving up, when I don't want to struggle anymore, please stay with us. After all, life is all about struggles. Help us to get through these dark moments of our life. Give us the strength and the faith to continue to believe that suffering will cease to be. I do believe that after the rain, behind those dark clouds, the sun will shine through. That after the dark of the night, a beautiful morning will come. Surely, after suffering there is comfort. And it is all to make us stronger. God help us.

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